Reality Check: Holiday Edition

Nice people, this is your reality check.

  • Nice guys may get everything they ask for during Christmas but we get everything we want when we want it.
  • You take your annual Christmas photos, I take my annual mugshot.
  • While your out shopping for Christmas gifts I am in your home shopping for mine.
  • Santa should be in prison after all the home invasions.
  • We get that you love Christmas, there is no need to light up the entire neighborhood and turn your car into a reindeer.

Holiday workers, this is your reality check.

  • The only reason you have a job is because of us, so do not complain.
  • I may not know much about what I am buying, so I would appreciate it if you could answer all of my 100 questions.
  • Sometimes I just can not wait in line. The pee pee dance does not work for 5 hours.
  • I know lunch breaks do not take more than an hour, I will still be here when you come back.
  • It is Christmas time. I would appreciate it if you stop asking me for donations when I am already spending money I do not have on gifts.

Reindeers, this is your reality check.

  • There are plenty of animals that can replace you, dogs, coyotes, wolves, and we’re one of a kind!
  • Sure we are miniature but we still do more work than you, and you carry around a 400 pound man throughout the entire night.
  • The only reindeer anyone remembers is Rudolph, and only because of his weird red nose.
  • I belong in a toy factory and you belong in a zoo.
  • Without us there are no gifts, therefore there is no Christmas!
Tis the season! It is finally that time of year where school comes to an end and christmas is only weeks away. Regardless if you enjoy this time of year, I think we can all agree we will enjoy our time off. We hope you have been entertained by our reality check and good luck to everyone in their future. Happy holidays! – Valerie Castro and Max Azevedo.

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